Death is inevitable

Death is inevitable
I am not afraid of dying I fear what might come after
Seeing the unseen
Records sealed and justice ensues
Every matter in comparison becomes insignificant
That time your heart was broken or that day your favorite uncle’s life stolen
I remember days on end spent in a downward spiral of emotions
Those days I felt like my life was in jeopardy
Dreams dashed
Ultimately I was searching for paradise
Failing to find it where I seek
It wasn’t in my mothers arms, my fathers calm comfort
I wasn’t in my lovers gaze, my friends loyalty
It was in that last hour of life
Those most precious seconds and mins I didn’t comprehend
What was my last thought, declaration, action
Was it one that would forever rob me of akhira
Or like the rest of my existence a steadfast dhikr
What are my shining moments?
Moments I wish for all to see, when I was kind, prayed, cried for the sake of Allah
Will they be heavy on my scale…will my merciful Lord pardon me?
May Allah have mercy on me, amen
For all the days Ive sinned and was negligent of the pleasure of my Lord
All those days that contributed to the blemishes on my heart
Oh rusted organ May Allah aid me in purifying you, amen
Fill you with Iman, Subr, and takwah and encompass you in Noor
May you be my advocate in Akhira along with the Quran and Allah’s Angels
Don’t expose my short comings and those days when my hawah did not fit islam
Death comes when Allah wills it, May Allah will my death on my best day
On a day Ive prayed qiyamul layl, luxuriated in my Fajr, made lots of dhikr, dua, and tauba
Make that day I stand up for the Haq because I fear Allah ta’alla more
That day I’ll die shaheed but no one will know but Allah
So when I’m resurrected I’ll have more glory than I could dream of in the dunya
I will be among the Sabiqoon and when Allah commands me to enter Jennah I’ll recite from memory and raise the highest in ranks.
On that day Ill be close to my Lord
I’ll speak to HIM, see Him
What could I say but Alhamdulillahi Rabil Alamiin!
On that day I will find the paradise I lost in my mothers arms and my fathers comfort
Tranquility that could never be found in my loves gaze or a friend’s loyalty
By Allah I would have been successful