My Sisters

Yaḥyā bin Mu‘ādh رحمه الله said, “A friend is the one who you don’t have to remind to remember you in his supplication, and that you don’t have to flatter and impress, and that you don’t have to apologise to.”

Abū Ja‘far رحمه اللهsaid to his companions, “Can any of you put his hand in the pocket of his brother and take what he wants?” They replied, “No.” He said, “Then you are not brothers as you claim.” [Mukhtaṣar Minhāj ul-Qāṣidīn]

On your path you went away

Left me to linger in despair
In this valley of shadows the climb is steep
The sun overcome by mountains of deeds
Misguided and some evil in nature
Above them is a red glow of a distant light
Some times I lay and watch it flicker and dream of how it would feel to bask in its warmth
Chasing away the cold that clings to my flesh
I imagine it would penetrate my skin and flow through my veins reviving me
And when it reaches my heart it would enliven with Iman
Emancipated from the utter misery of a life without a purpose
A life without out answers of truth
Honest in speech, action, and spirit
Unburdened with the guilt of sins
Freedom in the service of Allah swt

I am afraid to go home

So I am going to build a new one
This new home will be mine and I will rule over it justly
It will be pure and hearts will find with in it peace
Stomachs will find fullness, satisfaction
Tongues will taste sweetness of iman
Ears will hear the buzzing of Quran
Shoulders find heads leaning against them
Arms find bodies to encircle
Hands gently guard while themselves being guarded
Feet find play as they rest on fine carpets
Skin, all over, feels comfort in loves touch
The mind challenged and stimulated in the absence of frivolous conversation
I will not be afraid to return to this home
I am safe fee aman Allah

I am the most fortunate

How fortunate I am that I have a Lord who favors me
He gave me shape and perfected it, filling it with life
Placed me in the care of loving parents
Fed me and clothed me all the days of my life
He let me enjoy the luxuries of this world He deprived many of His slaves
Guided me to His deen
Provided me opportunity to learn His book, recite His kalaam
Promised me paradise if I keep our trust
And Allah always keeps his promise
I am the most fortunate

Chasing Dreams

I wished so many things once
Chasing dreams doesn't keep them from escaping you
If necessary the whole world will crash down around you to prevent you
They will tell you without telling you
This you covet is not yours and your heart lies in claiming it
The result does not depend on your acceptance of reality
And reality does little to sway your resolve
Dreams fade and evolve
And the disappointment of not attaining them is short lived
The possibility and hope in dreaming is sometimes more valuable than the dream itself
But dreams can be limiting and constricting
The unimaginable, the qadr of our Lord, surpass our desires
We dream for the moon and He promises the heavens
We plan and He plans...
and Allah swt always gets His plan

Remembering to Remember

You showered your blessings on me
Favored me over much of your creation
How can I let my heart break when its supposed to be only for you?
I wont let the joy leave me heart not matter what the test
La illah illah anta
You've preserved me and concealed for me what I conceal
You forgive when I repent
How can I ever turn my face?
My heart yearns for you, quench it
Satisfy me so I'll never remember dissatisfaction
Subhanka, inne kuntum mina dhalemeen

A dream

Under the blanket of my Lord's brilliant night sky I dream
My heart content and my body cradled
I dream in ease away from harsh reality
Softness of sleep in comfort I dream
Showered in the mercy of Allah
Guarded by the soldiers of Al Rahman
I dream a dream

Sadeeq

[So do not lose heart, and do not fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith ] (
Aal `Imran 3:139)

How much do I love the sky...

I love the sky
It is mostly beautiful
In the morning and evening it smolders and flickers with fire and blossoms
In the day and night ships sail through it to the winged sailors delight
Its hue is a pallet of richness and sensuousness
Its days are for flying and its nights are intimate cover
I love the sky and I love the Lord that made it so
It's purpose for the believer is to gauge the prayers
And to witness along with its Lord those who wake for worship in all its hours
It testifies that it is one of it's Lords signs
In its beauty and splendor above mankind with no suspenders
Patently baring the pain of a billion piercing stars
Adorning the sun and moon
Bring forth their fairness and splendor
None with intelligence can deny the many praises of the sky
Alhamdulillah

Don't despair from the mercy of Allah

narrated in Saheeh Muslim (2744) from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of His slave when he repents to Him than one of you who was on his mount in the wilderness, then he lost it, and his food and drink are on it, and he despairs of finding it. He goes to a tree and lies down in its shade, having lost hope of finding his mount, and whilst he is like that, there it is standing in front of him, so he takes hold of its reins and says, because of his intense joy, ‘O Allaah, You are my slave and I am your lord,’ making this mistake because of his intense joy.”

Some thing I read...

أحـزان قلبـي لا تـزول
حتـى أبشـر بالقـبـول
وأرى كتابـي باليمـيـن
وتقـر عينـي بالرسـول


"Sadness in my heart does not cease to exist,
Until I am given the glad tidings of the acceptance (to Jannah),
And I see my Book (of deeds) in the right hand,
And my eyes are cooled by the (sight of the) Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم)"

It doesn't seem so bad after all...

Volume 7, Book 70, Number 548:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials."

Remember Allah is with the patient

Go through the trials of life remembering the larger journey
Remembering Allah is with the patient
The sun rose and set like the years before
Years that brought you closer to deaths door
Time runs faster than only a second ago
Leaving no room for hesitation or prolonged contemplation
Do or don't do
Decide or it will be decided
That is the way of life
Never wavering, unyielding

I wish I wrote this, MashaAllah

If you don't like it ...chances are I don't either.

Every time I write a poem I love it for 5 mins...and then every time I see it afterward I feel embarrassed. It feels so pretentious to me, some times disingenuous, or whiny.

ahh...hence the reason why very few people know I even write it, and even fewer read them.

Friends

I am a good liar
I can pretend I like you and that what you are saying is interesting
I can pretend I care and that your problems are real problems
I can pretend your words are not inflammatory and insulting
I can even pretend to agree while silently making alternative plans
I can speak to you for hours and never mention one thing about me
because I know how people love to talk about themselves
I'll indulge you and find what works for you
Whether it is flattery, encouragement, funny banter, or even blunt honesty
I am the fake social butterfly
I can't stand the people, still I wave and yell hi
How can so many people live completely shallow lives?
Lacking consideration and elementary human compassion
Never wondering about the woman I am
No one but my lord knows me
The most feeble of men underestimate me
Disillusioned by their lack of self awareness
With out a point of reference they try to measure me
Unknowingly measuring their own intellectual limitations
Eluding people is not my recreational past time
I fear the viciousness of lashing hands and tongues
Seeking refugee from their insincere vows of friendship
Long given up on true companionship in a spouse or friend
With jealousy remembering that Ibrahim is the friend of Allah
With honesty performing every command of Allah
No lies will win me the favor of Allah
So these games will have to end
Forcing me to patiently endure the barrage that will ensue
Anything for the sake of Allah
For what higher friendship is there to pursue

Green Birds

In the depths of despair
you've been damaged
your mind and body a jail for your believing soul
Your brothers and sisters have abandoned you but
Be patient
Allah is with the patient
What allie is greater?
What friend is more valuable than the one you have believer?
Sing these honorable verses often to remember, believer
Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest
Remember that you are a stranger to this world
Glad tidings to the strangers
Glad tidings believer
Your deeds are with Allah swt and He does not waste rewards
Allah is ever aware of what we do
So do not let shaitan tempt you to stand beside your enemy on yomul qiyama
You will be compensated
May Allah strengthen your iman and make you mujahid, amen

I am finished with this life

I am finished with this life and its people

They are not of me and I am not of them

They are repulsed with me and I turned off of them

I tried to find my way in their way, instead found myself astray

They only take from me and scoff when I am in need

I will not deny their taking even though I know their greed

I only deny my need because I seek refugee from greed

Again and again I am humbled

Fooled by my reliance on man and earth

Foolishness that had me forget thankfulness

Depriving me of bounty meant for me

Enough already, I am finished with this life

I seek refugee from the evil in it

If I knew my place was secure I would end my bonds with this life

I have no such promise from my Lord

So I hold on and pray for ease in good deeds

Hasten the the acts of righteousness in hopes that they will overcome

So when the unseen are in plain sight I will be pleased

So insha'Allah I may be of those whose desires are fulfilled

Of those who are pleased with Allah as their lord

Of those privileged to hear that Allah is pleased with them

Be easy on the lovers

Their hearts are weak from yearning

Struck with madness of which they wish never to be rid

Have mercy on them

When fools tears fall, no sun will rise until their hearts are quenched

Their struggle will persist until the world yields

What lengths they will not go, what rock they leave unturned?

Passionate hearts steering the mind that has forgotten its purpose

To laugh or reprimand is to increase them in grievance

Please, be easy on the lovers

What soul is tortured more than the rational lover?

One whose heart yearns violently while the mind protests prudently

Inner sanctum devoid of harmony

Making nights restless, days tedious, thoughts torturous

Never allowing oneself relief for fear of consequence

Patience against temptation

Patience in hope that this passion will subside

The heart may slip into desperation or mutate into a cynic

It may mature with experience and add in character

It may forever languish with unrequited love

What ever the case the warning remains the same

Be easy on the lovers

Death is inevitable

Death is inevitable
I am not afraid of dying I fear what might come after
Seeing the unseen
Records sealed and justice ensues
Every matter in comparison becomes insignificant
That time your heart was broken or that day your favorite uncle’s life stolen
I remember days on end spent in a downward spiral of emotions
Those days I felt like my life was in jeopardy
Dreams dashed
Ultimately I was searching for paradise
Failing to find it where I seek
It wasn’t in my mothers arms, my fathers calm comfort
I wasn’t in my lovers gaze, my friends loyalty
It was in that last hour of life
Those most precious seconds and mins I didn’t comprehend
What was my last thought, declaration, action
Was it one that would forever rob me of akhira
Or like the rest of my existence a steadfast dhikr
What are my shining moments?
Moments I wish for all to see, when I was kind, prayed, cried for the sake of Allah
Will they be heavy on my scale…will my merciful Lord pardon me?
May Allah have mercy on me, amen
For all the days Ive sinned and was negligent of the pleasure of my Lord
All those days that contributed to the blemishes on my heart
Oh rusted organ May Allah aid me in purifying you, amen
Fill you with Iman, Subr, and takwah and encompass you in Noor
May you be my advocate in Akhira along with the Quran and Allah’s Angels
Don’t expose my short comings and those days when my hawah did not fit islam
Death comes when Allah wills it, May Allah will my death on my best day
On a day Ive prayed qiyamul layl, luxuriated in my Fajr, made lots of dhikr, dua, and tauba
Make that day I stand up for the Haq because I fear Allah ta’alla more
That day I’ll die shaheed but no one will know but Allah
So when I’m resurrected I’ll have more glory than I could dream of in the dunya
I will be among the Sabiqoon and when Allah commands me to enter Jennah I’ll recite from memory and raise the highest in ranks.
On that day Ill be close to my Lord
I’ll speak to HIM, see Him
What could I say but Alhamdulillahi Rabil Alamiin!
On that day I will find the paradise I lost in my mothers arms and my fathers comfort
Tranquility that could never be found in my loves gaze or a friend’s loyalty
By Allah I would have been successful